I grew up in a house where we all had the same last name. “The McNulty Family!” No hyphens, no rearranged middle names, just your average suburban family of four. It never occurred to me when I was little that people had any other set up, and to be fair, most people I knew did not. So when I got engaged and people asked me if I was going to change my name I answered yes almost instinctively, without giving it too much thought.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9b902aa5-f8ee-40f6-b692-e8b19ce311fd_3024x4032.heic)
The first moment I was confronted with the reality of a legal name change was when we got our marriage license.
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